The End of the Rope

The End of the Rope

When my husband and I lost our son, Joshua, to suicide, we searched scriptures to answer the questions created by Joshua’s death. Attending church services was no longer enough to sustain us each week. We had come to the end of our rope. This was where our faith in Jesus, such as it was at […]

Brokenness

Brokenness

What do you do when something of yours gets a crack or breaks, let’s say a glass or a bowl? I know for me it usually ends up in the garbage. I don’t want anyone to cut their mouths on a broken glass and cracked bowls inevitably leak milk or other liquids so that’s no […]

God Encouraged Me with Luke Five

God Encouraged Me with Luke Five

For three years I have not been feeling well. In fact, I’ve grown increasingly worse. I’m seeing a second doctor in less than two years because my first doctor told me he no longer knew how to help me. My hope was all but gone. Is this how my son Joshua felt, when he was […]

Torn Between the Two

Torn Between the Two

Last month I wrote about how joy differs from happiness and I ended my post with the reminder of how important it is we remain focused on the truths of God’s grace and love so we don’t get distracted by our circumstances. I bring this up because God used a time in my life when […]

God’s Newest Blessing After Suicide

God’s Newest Blessing After Suicide

God continues to bless me, even eleven years after my son Joshua died by suicide. The loss is still great, but not horrific as the first four years. I still mourn for Joshua, but I don’t cry daily as I once did. I find too, that my grieving has expanded to include the grandchildren he […]

An Analogy of What God Did for Me

An Analogy of What God Did for Me

Recently, my smallest hen, Little Mutton, became too solitary, dosing way too often in the hen yard. She acted fine physically, ran well, and seemed lively when I woke her from her sleep. But, something wasn’t right. After keeping my eye on her for a few days, the morning came when she didn’t venture out […]

Does God Hear Our Requests?

Does God Hear Our Requests?

My son died by suicide eleven years ago on March 16, 2004. I suffered emotional agony, and after a time it felt like real physical pain. My stomach and my head ached. My skin no longer fit, and I thought it would suffocate me. Worst of all, my heart hurt within my chest and I […]

A Long Season in the Wilderness

A Long Season in the Wilderness

Joshua, our youngest child, was diagnosed at the age of fifteen with a rare form of rheumatoid arthritis. Our happy boy turned into a philosophical teen while the disease slowly disabled him, thwarted his dreams, and spiraled him into depression. One cold evening soon after Joshua began freshman classes at our local college, we sat […]

When Someone You Love Takes Their Own Life

When Someone You Love Takes Their Own Life

Fifteen years ago this week I got a call that my father, who had battled alcohol for my entire childhood and beyond, took a gun and ended his life. I had never known a sober father, or a household that had any sense of normalcy. It was all about the alcoholic, and either you were […]