My Jesus Is Too Small

My Jesus Is Too Small

I confess that I often forget how big the God of the universe is. I worry, fret, and strive to take control over all things in a feeble attempt to grasp the peace that evades my soul. It slips away all too fast in the vast tides of this thing we call life and suddenly I’m overwhelmed. I’m no longer walking on the water; I’m drowning in it.

Things pile up.

Responsibilities. Work. Friends. Bills. Dirty dishes. Loneliness. Assumptions. The hurtful words of those we love. Dirty laundry. Clean laundry. Perfection. Meal prep. Extracurricular actives. Disappointments.

They are one brick on top of another that build up the wall between God and us. They form an excellent barrier. They look functional, necessary, and yet they separate and divide. We get to bed late and are too tired to spend time with Him in the morning. We are called on to do just one more thing and find ourselves stressed and exhausted at the end of the day. We allow jealousy of others, whether it’s their social media perfection, their children’s cute outfits, or their thin bodies, to force us to lay another brick. Another five bricks. Another ten.

A brick wall

But what will it take? What will force us to see the wall and then want to do something about it? I’ll admit I’m afraid of the answer to that because often times I’ve seen the Lord work clearly during the most difficult times in my life. Those times when there is no way (that I can see) to be free and survive. But there’s good news.

God doesn’t want us to “survive”; He wants us to thrive.

My Jesus is too small because I limit what I think God can do. I don’t give over my wild dreams to Him, I offer the “affordable dreams” instead. You know the ones I mean. They are reasonable, attainable from my mental understanding, and fit nicely into my “God sized” box. But what they really amount to is a nicely organized list of probables: things that I can imagine working out.

Oh, they may seem a little outlandish at the time of asking—but I know that in the back of my mind I’ve worked how exactly how He’ll be able to provide the answers to my prayers. My thinking is so small. So limited. So finite. And worst of all? So selfish. When it comes down to it, my requests work out perfectly…for me.

Don’t hear me saying that we shouldn’t ask for things for ourselves or that praying for our own dreams and desires is a bad thing. It’s not that at all! It’s the heart behind the request.

Am I asking so that my will shall be done? Or so that my heat will be in line with what His will is? Am I trying to manipulate by asking for things that accomplish my desires? Or am I requesting what is His best for me? Am I so caught up in the things that pile up I’m only asking for a way out rather than a way through?

A way through quote by Emilie HendryxDo you see the difference? A way out means I want out, but a way through says I’ll walk hand in hand with the Shepherd through the trials.

Refinement comes on the way through, not on focusing to get out.

So I ask you this: Is your Jesus too small?

Have you worked out the ultimate good for your life because you can see it happening? Or are you allowing Him to lead you through on paths you’d never expected? Are you ready to hand over the direction of your life to the only One who will guide you perfectly?

I encourage you to pray for His guidance not because it will accomplish what you want, but so that He will lead you where He want’s to take you.

Hold His hand on the way through, for he will never let you go.

 

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Emilie Hendryx About Emilie Hendryx

Emilie is a freelance writer, photographer, and graphic designer living in Dayton, Ohio. She’s a member of ACFW and writes Young Adult fiction. In her spare time, you can find her designing fun bookish items for her Etsy and Society6 shops all while drinking too much coffee.
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