“Did I Say That?”
To honor and to cherish….
Boomers and all others, do you remember when your heart knew you would cherish this person before you forever? Maybe it was at the altar. At the first kiss. Or at final goodbyes, after a life-time together.
But, did you say you would do this for the rest of your life? You probably did or at least some version of it.
Oh, maybe the bloom on your face and the passion of youth have turned a dull sheen, but neither age nor beauty requirements are necessary to cherish a partner or to practice intimacy. Where ever the time of your journey, you can still cherish the loved one in your life and you can still live in intimacy. That intimacy may simply be watching the morning news together and we know beauty comes to wear different faces for different people.
You must commit to the job of cherishing, though, and a wee bit of work is required. Well, to be honest, a good bit of work is required. Love isn’t magic. It’s a commitment, a choice, an action and hard work. Our Creator knew what He was doing when He designed the family, but, truthfully, I sometimes wonder how any marriage ever works. Two completely different individuals join together and total harmony is expected. Nothing short of a mini miracle. Right? Understand why work is required? A marriage which works seems a wonderful oddity doesn’t it? Oh, but the fun of it all!
The mission is how to keep the intimacy in marriage and how to continue to cherish another individual for the rest of your life, year after year. There is a lot of advice out there, a lot of written information, which you may or may not explore. This following on-line site seems to offer sound advice on the subject: http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/wives/how-to-cherish-your-husband#.VDqLZPldV1Y .
I also can personally vouch for Doctor Gary Chapman’s marriage workshops on The Five Love Languages as an excellent tool and resource to help have the marriage you’ve always wanted http://www.5lovelanguages.com/).
So, you’re not alone in your desire to value your marriage, but every good marriage can be made even better. In the quest of how to cherish another individual, it helps to have role models and they aren’t always our parents. It’s great if your parents cherished one another, but others may well fill this role.
Scout about for happy marriages, emulate and learn from them. I have adopted a few solid marriages and the word ‘respect’ sums up the basic ingredient needed for cherishing another person, another soul.
Respect for your partner creates value of his or her personhood and certainly influences your attitude and treatment. Spouses are granted value whether they want it or deserve it. It’s important give that respect and to keep sight of a spouse’s value. Otherwise, it’s easy to ask, ‘Did I say that?’
We know you did. We all did. In one version or another.
Ways to Cherish Your Loved One
- Say ‘I love you’ every day.
- Kiss or hug when you leave or greet.
- Get caught praising them in public.
- Share joy of their accomplishments.
- Tell them how important they are to you, how you value them, what a difference they have made in your life.
- Be generous with your compliments.
- Study your loved one. Find all about them. Have favorites songs, names, foods
- Ask how you can help them.