In Over My Head

In Over My Head

I recently found myself in a season that had me begging the Lord to send me anywhere or have me do anything other than where he has placed me. I mapped out a route to which I figured was the most doable way to escape the impending tsunami from the earthquake that I felt beneath my feet, but before embarking on the journey, I took it before the Lord in confidence that He would confirm it’s what I was to do.

“No.”

It can be a difficult thing to hear when nothing seems to matter more than your request that is seemingly pulled away from your reach with a one-syllable word; anticipation swelling up within you, only to be left stranded with disappointment and unsure of a possible alternative.

A solution that made sense in my mind, I was sure that I heard the Lord wrong, so I asked him again.

“You stay where I have called you.”

I was standing on the shore facing the wall of a tsunami with bystanders hollering for me to run. How could the Lord not see that I was moments away from drowning? How could he just dismiss a perfectly thought out escape plan?

I was scared and upset, but then I heard His voice sweep through like a whirlwind.

“Have I not given you the ability to swim?”

Those who know me would find this question as humorous as I did, as I was a competitive swimmer throughout my early teen years. Scripture often depicts the Lord’s presence or blessing with the imagery of water (Jer 17:8, Ps 1:3), and I don’t believe it is a coincidence that I often see in hindsight that the moments when I feel like I’m drowning are when the Lord is closer than the breath in my lungs, for he is the breath that sustains.

So, that tsunami came over me, leaving me in over my head as I lost control, but gained the beautiful freedom of surrender as the Lord placed his sustaining breath into my lungs and reminded me how to swim.

I can’t say that I have found my way to the crest of that wave yet, but there is no doubt that the Lord is refining, renewing, and refreshing my spirit as I continuously learn to depend on him to see me through.

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Alyssa Kristine About Alyssa Kristine

Redeemed from childhood dysfunction and drug addicted and homeless teen years, Alyssa is winging adulthood with discernment of faith and striving for nothing less than the standard Christ created. She believes that the beauty of the cross is found in the broken pieces of life that are molded together into an astonishing sum of crimson stained grace and mercy.

Comments

  1. Alyssa, thank you for writing this post. What great imagery and powerful message about listening to God in every step of the journey. I resonate with so much of this post as I struggled with unemployment a couple of years ago. I definitely didn’t want to be there, and every time I would apply for a job, I would think “This is the one!” And over and over, I would hear “Not yet” from God, too. Eventually, I did get a job, but only because He made it happen. Until then, I had to learn how to surrender and just stay in that place, too.

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  2. Laurie Driesen says:

    Thanks Alyssa, I also recently found myself in a situation where I wanted “out” and God basically said “stay”. I’ve learned that I have to listen to God, it is futile to try running my life in my own way! I like your description of “in over my head”. That’s exactly how life is sometimes. Thanks for sharing!

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