Something New, Something Old

Something New, Something Old

My husband passed away unexpectedly two years ago. His ashes have resided on the top shelf in my closet, but in a couple of weeks he will be interred in our family cemetery, which cousins and I have reclaimed  through much effort, including court appearances.

This is a bittersweet, yet joyous, time for me. Bittersweet in that I am reconciling and reconstructing my new life, but joyous in that our cemetery now belongs to family. This will be the first burial in the cemetery for almost 130 years. My Mother’s southern family goes back for eight generations in this area. My great grandfather, a CSA second lieutenant in the Civil War, was the last buried there in 1888.

My husband Conrad, native of a northern steel-mill town, had come to love the hills and valleys of Tennessee. My two novels are set in this area. I have also become an avid genealogist over the past few years. The history of my ancestors has woven its way into my heart, and legacy has become important. Hence, we have a grave plot for future genealogy quests.

Mortality is a compelling force which cannot be ignored. We know we will die, we just don’t want to die NOW, but the Bible says in Heb 9:27 RSV “…a man is destined to die once and after that to face judgment…” and in Ecclesiastes 3:2 RSV “…there is a time to be born and a time to die…” It’s simply a question of when.

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Everyone  reading this blog has lost or will lose someone to death. I believe I have mentioned here before about the 3Fs, which helped me travel my new journey. They are faith, family and friends. All three are helpful to have aboard when navigating loss of a loved one, but if I had to choose only one, I’d choose faith. My faith is what gives me assurance my husband is in a happy place and that I will see him again someday.

While this may seem like a bit of a strange blog, let us know that nothing separates us from the love of God.  Romans 8:38 is a very comforting thought for me and I hope for you and for mankind!

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Jude Urbanski About Jude Urbanski

Jude Urbanski’s passions are ‘people and places.’ She writes women’s fiction featuring strong inspirational romance elements. Her stories invite you to heroes and heroines who spin tragedy into triumph with help from God. First published in nonfiction, Jude continues to write in this field also. Editing services complete Jude’s repertoire.

Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing, Jude. As you know, my husband’s death is still fairly recent
    (17 weeks ago today), so any post about loss touches my heart deeply. I am glad you have moved another giant step in your healing journey.

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  2. Jude, thank you for sharing this journey. I love that you honored your husband by setting your novels in his hometown. We don’t have a family cemetery, but I think that is such a beautiful thing.

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  3. Patti, I know you are still in the throes of loss. My heart is there with you. I’m learning it is a big process of reconciling and reconstructing. An up and down process, but memories sustain an awfully lot and we try to laugh over, about and perhaps with Conrad as often as we can. That is healing to me.

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  4. You’re welcome, Cherie. The cemetery has already come to mean a lot and I hope it does to future family.

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  5. Thanks for this post, Jude. I lost my husband 4 years ago this month. As the 27th approaches, I am feeling the pangs of missing him in my life. I, too, have his ashes in an urn, resting atop my desk with his straw Stetson and favorite agate bolo ‘tie’. I am unsure what to do with them. His hometown is El Paso, Texas, where his mother and father are buried. I’m unsure if there’s a plot reserved for him. I’ll have to check with his sister. However, I can’t afford to take him back there. Sad, but true.

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  6. Peg, I remember when you lost your husband and yes, I don’t think missing them ever goes away. I’d say keep him close. Plan to keep busy as the 27th nears.

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