I have to confess, Lord . . .

I have to confess, Lord . . .

I have to confess, Lord, there are days when this time with you feels like sacrifice. These moments I dedicate each morning to sit and talk with the Creator of the Universe feel like duty instead of privilege. My to-do list calls to me. I have words to write, clothes to iron, bread to bake. My yard is overrun with weeds. And then I remember the image you impressed on my imagination months ago—flowers growing out out of your book. Life. Life springing forth from your Word. This is my recharge, my fresh start, my start-over point. This is when I empty and confess and surrender and uncover all my brokenness. This is when I remember who you are—Giver of Life, Supplier of Needs, Lover of My Soul. This is where you fill my empty and mend my cracks. Here, in this morning time I set aside, you listen as I talk of heartache and worry for my kids and theirs, my friends’ dreams and shattered hopes. This, Lord is where I meet you. And find life. And joy. And all I need to tackle that list and prepare to lean on you in whatever you give me to do today.

The struggle isn’t in the time with you. When the conversation begins, I’m once again enthralled with you. The fight comes before I sit—when the phone dings and the clock ticks and I wonder how I can possibly afford the time. And then I remember—that you are the one who made the daylight and once made the sun stand still. You are the one who kept the oil jars filled. And you are the one who, over and over, has made me wonder how I fit so much into a day that seemed too short at its beginning. You are the God of miracles. How could I start my day any other way?

John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. John 15:5

Several hours after I penned this in my journal, a phone call freed up two hours in my afternoon. And when that time arrived—those hours I’d planned on filling with writing–a friend in need of talk time called. Divine intervention, not interruption. 

Lord, as always, a day that begins with you is ordered by you.

In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9

 

Becky Melby About Becky Melby

Wisconsin resident Becky Melby is the author of the Lost Sanctuary Series and a dozen other contemporary fiction titles. Married for 43 years, mother of four, grandmother to fifteen, Becky thrives on writing, reading, camping, rides on the back of a silver Gold Wing, and time with family. Connect with her at her website or Facebook.

Comments

  1. Yes, life wants to take over the One who gave us life. Beautiful, Becky. So real. Love you, sweet lady.

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  2. I had to print this post and leave it in my “Me and Jesus” corner of the house. I have felt exactly what you wrote, and like you, I have worked past the to-do list that calls, but I need your words (in bright orange paper) for the days when the struggle is ready to defeat me.

    [Reply]

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