My New Journey

My New Journey

For the past eighteen months, I have been on a new journey. Not one I chose, but one God gave me. I have been learning how to be a widow. Now, I do not even like that word and use it only when I absolutely must. I’m sure many of you know what I’m saying.

Once the shock of sudden death wore off (does it really ever?), I made some choices. Funny how a widow has lots of freedom to make choices. Freedoms she’d rather give up than make alone.

My first ‘freedom’ choice was to take comfort in knowing my husband is in the presence of God and is probably trying to organize things and tell all the heavenly spirits how to run the show. That would be Conrad, my A1 personality. We had talked often of how while on earth we are only in the first installment of our eternal life. He always said death really tests your belief in God.

Secondly, I determined to believe, that as a believer, everything in my life is God-filtered. This article of faith was the beginning of my new journey. Have you noticed how beginnings quite often begin with endings?

So, my question for myself is how does God want me to live? I know He wants me to love and worship Him as my first priority. I know He is my constant companion. This said, I have to be still, and listen to and for, the rest. Some days, all I can do is simply abide in Him. Other days I pray to live until I feel alive again. All days, I have to be in His Word.

I’ve found my 3Fs have gotten me to here. And I feel in a good place. My 3Fs are: faith, family and friends. While faith is paramount to me, I couldn’t have made it without these blessings. Or, perhaps I would not have made it as well, because not everyone has all three.

Certain special books have ministered to me during this journey. One we all know and that is Cherie Burbach’s book, Art and Faith. Next, is Miriam Neff’s From One Widow to Another. (I found that Miriam and I had attended Indiana University at the same time and even went to the same church! Suppose God is at work here?) The third one is Prayers for a Widow’s Heart by Margaret Nyman. You may find all of these on Amazon.

Miriam lent a very special idea for widowhood and that was to choose ‘a board of directors’ who would have helps for your new life. She suggested: a godly widow, a person with financial wisdom, a practical friend, an encourager, a person with spiritual discernment and courage, and a relative whose priority is your well-being. Some individuals may even fill two positions. Actually, one could tailor this idea in any number of ways as long as we realize  who can help us in the needed ways. I discovered that without realizing, I have done exactly this. God? A resounding yes!

I am cherishing the memories I have, but learning to let go of a relationship that has ended. Nicely said, but not that easy is it? I have conceded that he is still with me, but has only changed forms. His spirit is ever present. That said, too, I still do not want to get ‘stuck’ and unable to move ahead. My daughter says I am not. I’ll trust her.

One of my ‘freedoms’ is to believe my Heavenly Father is on this new journey with me.

And I do. He can be there for you also. I am happy to be there for you, too. Joy shared is doubled and grief shared is divided!  mailto:urbanski4u@aol.com

 

 

Jude Urbanski About Jude Urbanski

Jude Urbanski’s passions are ‘people and places.’ She writes women’s fiction featuring strong inspirational romance elements. Her stories invite you to heroes and heroines who spin tragedy into triumph with help from God. First published in nonfiction, Jude continues to write in this field also. Editing services complete Jude’s repertoire.

Comments

  1. Jude… I am so sorry about your husband. I had no idea my book was giving you inspiration in that way, but I’m glad it has. I’m also glad you wrote about this, I know others are experiencing this same journey right now. Thank God for your faith (and the other 2 Fs) and what a blessing to share your journey with honesty and grace.

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  2. Thank you, Cherie. Yes, your book with its art and its versing has helped me immensely. It’s a ‘go-to’ book when I want a quiet time or an uplift time. I am finding strength and grace for each day!

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  3. Christie Horvath says:

    This is so true. This journey is one very difficult to travel. I also had to put my team together.

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  4. Ann Ellison says:

    I lost my husband in 1997 with a brain tumor. So I have walked and am still walking the road that you are on. I too have found comfort, peace and strength through God’s love and care for me. As you said, this is not the path that I would have chosen. It is the path that God chose for me and I have found that life is still good and I am blessed.

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  5. Laurie Driesen says:

    Jude, thanks for your post. I haven’t experienced this but I was a single mom for 20 years so I know what it’s like to fend for myself and live life alone. I loved the advice of putting a “board of directors” together. I wish I would have done this when I was alone! Thanks for that practical advice for widows and single women!

    In a way, I wouldn’t trade my time alone for anything because it taught me to really delve into my relationship with the Lord. I know that I would not have done that if God would have granted me a husband each step of the way. I’m just too “into” relationships! I would have not developed the strong dependency on God. So I’m grateful for that. I can’t imagine the depth of your pain but I do agree that your husband is still “with” you in the sense that your life, your memories, your feelings are wrapped up with him. I also developed this theory, not Biblical, just a theory. Since there is no time in Heaven, your husband doesn’t really have to wait for you! For him, it will be like no time has passed until he gets to see you again. We, on the other hand, have to live in time and keep going until the day we meet the Lord. Thanks again Jude, all the best to you!

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  6. Cathy Shouse says:

    Thanks for sharing how you are soldiering through this difficult change.

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  7. Christie, thanks for stopping by. So you already had the ‘team’ concept put into action? Super.

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  8. Ann, I didn’t know you were also a widow. You’ve been such a great encourager for me, for my books and I have appreciated that. I like your last sentence and believe you make that true.

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  9. Laurie, thank you for stopping by also and share your comments. I love how you say you grew in your relationship with God during your alone time. God knows our every need doesn’t He? I’ll ponder your theory of ‘heavenly time’ versus our time!

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  10. You’re certainly welcome, Cathy, and thanks for the visit.

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