For the past eighteen months, I have been on a new journey. Not one I chose, but one God gave me. I have been learning how to be a widow. Now, I do not even like that word and use it only when I absolutely must. I’m sure many of you know what I’m saying.
Once the shock of sudden death wore off (does it really ever?), I made some choices. Funny how a widow has lots of freedom to make choices. Freedoms she’d rather give up than make alone.
My first ‘freedom’ choice was to take comfort in knowing my husband is in the presence of God and is probably trying to organize things and tell all the heavenly spirits how to run the show. That would be Conrad, my A1 personality. We had talked often of how while on earth we are only in the first installment of our eternal life. He always said death really tests your belief in God.
Secondly, I determined to believe, that as a believer, everything in my life is God-filtered. This article of faith was the beginning of my new journey. Have you noticed how beginnings quite often begin with endings?
So, my question for myself is how does God want me to live? I know He wants me to love and worship Him as my first priority. I know He is my constant companion. This said, I have to be still, and listen to and for, the rest. Some days, all I can do is simply abide in Him. Other days I pray to live until I feel alive again. All days, I have to be in His Word.
I’ve found my 3Fs have gotten me to here. And I feel in a good place. My 3Fs are: faith, family and friends. While faith is paramount to me, I couldn’t have made it without these blessings. Or, perhaps I would not have made it as well, because not everyone has all three.
Certain special books have ministered to me during this journey. One we all know and that is Cherie Burbach’s book, Art and Faith. Next, is Miriam Neff’s From One Widow to Another. (I found that Miriam and I had attended Indiana University at the same time and even went to the same church! Suppose God is at work here?) The third one is Prayers for a Widow’s Heart by Margaret Nyman. You may find all of these on Amazon.
Miriam lent a very special idea for widowhood and that was to choose ‘a board of directors’ who would have helps for your new life. She suggested: a godly widow, a person with financial wisdom, a practical friend, an encourager, a person with spiritual discernment and courage, and a relative whose priority is your well-being. Some individuals may even fill two positions. Actually, one could tailor this idea in any number of ways as long as we realize who can help us in the needed ways. I discovered that without realizing, I have done exactly this. God? A resounding yes!
I am cherishing the memories I have, but learning to let go of a relationship that has ended. Nicely said, but not that easy is it? I have conceded that he is still with me, but has only changed forms. His spirit is ever present. That said, too, I still do not want to get ‘stuck’ and unable to move ahead. My daughter says I am not. I’ll trust her.
One of my ‘freedoms’ is to believe my Heavenly Father is on this new journey with me.
And I do. He can be there for you also. I am happy to be there for you, too. Joy shared is doubled and grief shared is divided! mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org