Words flew out of my mouth like sparks from a wood burning stove. Not pretty words. They carried the heat of my anger from the deepest root of my hair down to the tip of my longest toenail. Good thing I uttered the broken phrases under my breath so my husband would not waken to my venomous mood.
God heard. He heard me utter His name. He did not hear me speak it in prayer. I mumbled it in vain, in frustration, in self-recrimination for my bad choice. My foolish oath to an inanimate object left me feeling ridiculous, embarrassed, defeated.
We’re barely a week into the New Year, and my resolution to keep my temper in check is as tainted as new fallen snow dirtied by muddy tire tracks.
My sinful nature took control.
I let my eyes and my heart wander from Jesus.
Good thing God understands our trials, our shortcomings, our faults, and our frustration.
Of course, moments after uttering those venomous words, I spoke God’s name in reverence, praying for His forgiveness, asking for help to meet the next situation with calm and common sense. I didn’t promise I’d never do it again. I know I will and He knows I will, so why lie to Him?
I did praise Him and shout in thanksgiving that He is a loving, forgiving God who showers His grace on me in unrestrained abundance.
Life isn’t a baseball game where you get three strikes and you’re out.
You don’t lose your “rights” as a member of the body of Christ like you lose your driver’s license if you mess up too many times.
God doesn’t expect us to make a 100% turnaround because we hung a new calendar on the wall.
He does expect us to…
seek knowledge of Him
draw closer to Him
strive to be more like Him.
He longs for us to…
return His love
embrace His forgiveness
accept the gift of His grace.
Perhaps if I put the resolutions aside and pursue these goals, everything else will fall into place.