Surrendering My Expectations to God

Surrendering My Expectations to God

I was hoping by the age of 64 that I would have pretty much everything figured out.  Instead, I realize I still have a long way to go. Since last month my Dad has been in the hospital with congestive heart failure.  He is 87 years old and has lived a full life. He was so weak I really thought it was going to be his time to meet his Savior.  They released him from the hospital last Friday and had home health in place to monitor him.  They came on Sunday and Tuesday and he was so much better on Tuesday that they cancelled his need for care.  He saw the doctor today and was given the okay to go fishing tomorrow. Another miracle and it looks like he will still have some time to enjoy some fishing, which is his favorite pass time.

bible-verses-27

I ordered a book about coping with difficult aging parents this week, because I am exhausted after my Dad’s ordeal.  He is so stubborn and refuses to give up control of anything.  He still wants to run the show. Even though he knows The Lord, he suffers from anxiety and I believe it is because he believes that his value is based on his performance, not on his value as a person.  If he isn’t in control he gets very frustrated.  He never has learned to let go and trust God. He would never admit that, but it is so evident in his behavior.

trust god

 

I am a Marriage and Family Therapist and I help people that suffer from anxiety everyday, but my Dad never has validated what I do and he will not acknowledge my skills and the ability to help him. I have found myself being so angry and I have had to search my heart for patience and letting go of my expectations for what I want for him. The real miracle would be seeing my Dad surrender control and trust God. He believes his value is in doing not being.

grace dad

So at age 64, I am trying to find grace to accept my Dad and let go of my expectations of being able to help him.  I am working on accepting the situation and remembering that God is in control and there is nothing I can do.  God’s grace is sufficient and He continues to stretch me and reveal some of my own stubbornness and control issues. Seeing my parents age has been hard, but when I am not validated by my Dad I have to remember that my value is in Christ and when others cannot meet my need for acceptance He is there to affirm me. Psalms 27:10.

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Vickie Parker About Vickie Parker

My name is Vickie Parker and I am an Online Christian Marriage and Family Therapist. To read more of my blogs visit me at vickiemft.com or visit me on Twitter.

Comments

  1. What a moving post, Vickie. I loved your last point. Yes, seeing parents get older is so difficult, but it does teach you about yourself. Many blessings to you as you handle these changes in yours and your dad’s life.

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  2. Great post–and so honest. Thanks for sharing your struggles with us.

    [Reply]

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